I found out about 11 p.m. Monday night that Fr. Frank Palmieri would allow anyone who wanted a chance to say something, so I put this together. I had been thinking about some things beforehand, but then had gotten the impression they weren't going to do it. So it was not what I might have done if I had time to really work on it. And, as with the one other time I was allowed to do this, I heard something during the service and had to improvise. I went off-script a lot, and don't remember all my changes, so I added in my improvization and tried to approximate my on-the-fly edits.
Among the many things my father gave his children, particularly his sons, was a love of the movies. He loved movies. My mother will tell you that many of the dates they went on when he was courting her were to the movies, and involved hot dogs. He was a big spender.
His favorite movie was, of course, The Quiet Man, starring John Wayne. He could quote the dialogue verbatim from his favorite scenes. If he was flipping channels and happened to find it on, he would start watching. Often, we would see this, and tell him, “We’ve got the tape. We can stick it in and watch the whole thing, without commercials.” But he would say no. He had been transported wherever he went and didn’t want to go back. Driving his sons crazy.
An online posting from an old family friend called him “The Quiet Man,” and it made my sister and my mother choke up to read it. The friend saw something we saw in him; we were glad to see that others saw it to.
If you watch it and like it, the next time you see it, think of my father.
It is hard to be the type of man my father was. I hope I have learned from his example, and I want to teach my son to be the kind of man my father was. He is a gentle boy.
To my mother, I saw the remarkable care you and Catherine gave him, and it was out of love.
You have many memories to cherish, but the thing I truly grieve about is that you have lost your dance partner. I am sad because we are so left-footed. But I think John won’t mind my speaking on his behalf here. If you need a dance partner, we are here for you. As long as it is slow music and not too complicated.
It needs to be said again and loudly, that my sister Catherine basically moved into the house in the final weeks to assist Mom in taking care of Dad.
I had an asthma attack once and it put me in Mary Black Hospital. I ended up on her floor. And when she came in to my room that first time, I expected to get it, both barrels, from someone who knew all my faults. Something tough. Too tough.
When she left, I asked, “Who was that nice girl who looks like my sister?”
She was the most gentle, kindly and caring nurse I have ever had.
I once applied for a job at a newspaper, and the editor told me his father had been on her floor, and that he received excellent care from the redhead.
I know how well you cared for Dad because I know how well you cared for me. I know also that Dad would not want you to get so caught up and involved in what happened to him that you forget to take care of yourself. He wants you to continue to care for many, many others as well as you cared for him, for years and years to come. He was proud that you chose your career, and he is beyond proud with the way you have conducted your career.
I am proud of both you and mom for taking such good care of him. He died, in gentle comfort, at his home, in his own bed, because of you and your love for him.
Lastly, I am improvising here, but I have heard Psalm 23 before, but never quite the way it was worded today. Everyone has said what a kind man my father was. I was looking at some pictures at my brother’s home, of a trip my father took to Ireland with John and his wife. That was when Dad was beginning to slow down. And in several pictures, Dad is lagging steps behind.
You should not laugh during the responsorial Psalm, but I couldn’t help it when I heard the cantor sing, “Kindness shall follow you the rest of your days.”
Because Dad was kindness personified. And he was following us the past few years.
Ps: A1 & A2- Psalm 23
Response: The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
In verdant pastures he gives me repose;
Beside restful waters he leads me, he refreshes my soul.
Response
He guides me in right paths for his name's sake.
Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side With your rod and your staff that give me courage.
Response
You spread the table before me in the sight of my foes;
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Response
Only goodness and kindness follow me all the days of my life;
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for years to come.
Response
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