A year ago today, I was on my way to work. I was about to turn off the radio when I heard someone call up WDOG and say, "A plane hit the World Trade Center in New York. It's on CNN."
So instead of going to work on time, I turned on the television and watched. I saw black smoke billowing from one tower in a far off shot. Then I saw the second plane hit, and I knew, as everyone did. We were at war. With whom, I didn't know, but I was certain, we were at war.
I was born in the Bronx, and some of my greatest childhood memories were of going to the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. I had pictures that I had taken on visits as an adult. I used to have a city planning book, huge, from the '60s, when the World Trade Center was just a plan, an ambitious dream for the future. I had framed aerial pictures of Lower Manhattan that my father bought and later gave to me. I went home and got my personal pictures and the framed tourist photos, and used them to illustrate our coverage, done on deadline.
The photo to the left is not one of mine. A few weeks after the tragedy, Wynell Sullivan of Blackville came and brought them to me, saying she had been on a trip to New York City in 1997. This particular shot was taken from a tour boat in the Hudson River.
It was a great, clear day and she had a good camera. My personal shots were taken on a hazy day with a disposable camera. But we were done with our 9/11 coverage, I told her then, I couldn't use them then. But keep them out, I said. I'll find a way to use them/
Wynell's son works in New York. Like anyone who knew anybody in New York, she got in touch as soon as possible with her son. He wasn't in New York, but she had to talk to him about it.
She was awed by the energy and noise of the city on her first visit, she said. Not only did she see the World Trade Center from the harbor, she went to the top with her son, husband and in-laws.
Everybody should go to New York City one time, she said last week when I talked to her about her trip and her pictures.
She's going back, soon.
Like me, she was listening to WDOG when she heard about it.
"I turned on the TV and was shut to the TV for several days after that, like everybody, I guess," she said.
And she remembered.
"It was amazing to be at the World Trade Center," she said. She remembers standing in line for a long time, going through tight security.
Her son was in Texas visiting his in-laws instead of working in New York. He was supposed to go back Sept. 12, but flights were delayed because airports were shut down. When he got back to New York, he volunteered for a time with the American Red Cross.
"It doesn't seem like a year," Wynell said. "Not quite like a year. Seems longer than that."
I know exactly what she feels. I've lived most of my life in South Carolina, yet I was born in New York. You can't take the New York out of this New Yorker.
I always want to go back. But the obsession is gone, and won't be back for a while. I think it's tied up with what's happening in New York City, where they cannot agree upon what to do with the 16 acres on which the Twin Towers once stood. We all know it is an unidentified problem. I think I know what the real problem is.
"There is a hole in reality, in our minds' reality. The hole is 1,300 feet tall, it's shaped like two buildings. Everytime we look at the skyline, we don't see what's there. We clearly see what isn't there. We lose a tiny bit of pride each time we look.
Some people say we can't build the towers back, because we'd be building where more than 3,000 died. But there are no tombs there. The two square buildings were built on one square block diagonally across from each other on the corners, like a checkerboard. We could put up two more buildings on the site with neither sited where the others were formerly sited.
I think they shouldn't build a memorial until about 10 years have passed.
But they need to build the Twin Towers back. They need to build them back on the site, but not the exact same location. They need to be as tall or taller.
The only way to fill the hole in our psyche is to fill it full again. No half measures. Some say they were signs of American arrogance. Many who said such things are those who hijacked the planes or supported those that did. Other countries have built taller structures since, yet they are not accused of arrogance. None of those countries attempted to build anything like it before America proved it could be done.
The Twin Towers ‑ I always took pride in those buildings. They were a testament to what America could accomplish.
We can't decide on what to do, and we can't agree on a national course, because when we look where they were, when we see the gaping hole in our memories, we can't deal with it.
Such buildings were once considered an impossible dream. People said the planners dreamed too big. But, it turned out, the dream was possible. Just by being there, the buildings told us anything we dreamed was possible.
Sept. 11, 2001 was a nightmare by any definition of the word, but not only did it steal the dream we made a reality, but it seems to have stripped us of our will to dream again and to dream big. We shouldn't let that happen. It was horrific, but we have to remember the thugs who did this, who now take delight in our unwillingness to dream, did something that required little thought, a little devilish inspiration and a monstrous helping of inhumanity.
The act of building the Towers, however, was an act of genius, inspiration and courage.
Wynell Sullivan was right.
It doesn't seem like a year. Before then, we lived in a time when Americans dreamed big and anything was possible. It seems so far off. It seems like a lifetime has passed for the survivors.
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